Dressed in Layers

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”

Anais Nin

I have always been fascinated with layers. Full skirts of secrets, delicate fabrics piled up like soft snow over each other, a soft movement over the skin.

Layers should not come with weight, there should always be plenty of pockets of air, spaces where to hide and discover, a lightness that frees instead of imposing.

That is my type of skirt-the one I want my mind dressed of, with plenty of room for the cells, a nest to my constellations...

Food for the Soul

"Bread and water—these are the things nature requires. For such things no man is too poor, and whosoever can limit his desire to them alone can rival Jupiter for happiness." -
Seneca

A couple of weeks ago my parents and I went for breakfast and a morning walk to the picturesque Town of Clinton, nestled in the hills of Hunterdon County and home to the historic Red Mill.

“Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in where nature may heal and cheer and give strength to the body and soul.”
The Yosemite, John Muir

We did some window shopping despite the cold, laughed at the wobbly pigeons ice skating at the river's edge, listened to melodies of running water, and warmed ourselves with steamy cider, hot coffee, and the most yummy warm Apple Pumpkin bread at the Clinton Coffee Company.

"If civilization, as is generally accepted, was born of the first settled riverbank farms, bread made from harvested grains may well have been its first, and most profound, culinary expression."
Michael Batterbury

It is not everyday that I can share these walks with my parents, as they live in Portugal and only come to visit a couple of times of year, so Clinton "tasted" even better this time around. And to add to the comfort of food, great conversation, and their presence, I was especially delighted to discover a charming bakery on Leigh Street.

" Bread deals with living things, with giving life, with growth, with the seed, the grain that nurtures. It's not coincidence that we say bread is the staff of life. "
Lionel Poilâne, French baker

When I saw this plate on the window, my heart raced straight back home to the Alentejo's wheat fields , to the songs of the women at harvest time, the sound of crickets in the golden afternoons, men and women laboring on the promise of bread.

"I am going to learn to make bread tomorrow. So you may imagine me with my sleeves rolled up mixing Flour, Milk, Saleratus &c with a deal of grace. I advise you if you don’t know how to make the staff of life to learn with dispatch.”
September 26, 1845- Letter to Abiah Root, Emily Dickinson

And as we walked in, there they were-the Portuguese rolls of my youth, those I purchased every morning from the bakery down the street from our house in Lisbon and ate at breakfast with mountains of butter and cafe-au-lait.

With a colorful cloth bag in one hand and a few coins in the other, I would stand in line for what it seemed ages until it was my turn to ask for the usual half-dozen rolls. "Dark and crispy", I said.

I would run back home feeling the rolls still warm under the fabric, the scent on the verge of inebriating, invading the elevator and making my stomach rumble on the long, long ride to our 4th floor apartment.

"The smell of good bread baking, like the sound of lightly flowing water, is indescribable in its evocation of innocence and delight..." The Art of Eating, M.F.K. Fisher

The smell of fresh bread and Rise Bakery 's inviting atmosphere were hard to resist. We didn't even try, and we returned home with all sorts of loaves and of course...the last of the Portuguese rolls.

“If thou tastest a crust of bread, thou tastest all the stars and all the heavens.”Robert Browing

I am a bread lover. Oh yes! None of that sliced bread that tastes like rubber and disappears in one's mouth without leaving a story or a memory to tell, for me. Oh no. I want thick slices, full of texture and songs of golden fields and fruits of the earth.

That is-food for the soul!

We have learned to see in bread an instrument of community between men—the flavour of bread shared has no equal.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

And this is a tour of the place where you can find this kind of nourishment :

"[Breadbaking is] one of those almost hypnotic businesses, like a dance from some ancient ceremony. It leaves you filled with one of the world's sweetest smells...there is no chiropractic treatment, no Yoga exercise, no hour of meditation in a music-throbbing chapel. that will leave you emptier of bad thoughts than this homely ceremony of making bread."
M. F. K. Fisher, The Art of Eating,

Sharing a Gift of Listening

Last week, I posted here the photo of a small figurine my mother gifted to me at Christmas time.
It's the small statue of a woman, praying or maybe meditating, with wings made of wire and a tree carved as the front of her plain white dress, and I simply love it.
It translates exactly how I feel in relation and as part of the world.

This past year I have documented my listening with thoughts and plenty of photos, and for Christmas I shared what moves me with those dear to my heart.

The self-published book "Listening to the Pulse" is a collection of some of those thoughts and photos, and of plenty of quotes from thinkers and writers I admire. I wanted my kids to have it as a piece of who I am,

and also to raise their own awareness (even though they are not strangers to my constant ramblings and likings). This book is a mother's contribution to their education- my appeal to their art of listening.

Reassessing the Language

For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
"Little Gidding" from Four Quartets , T. S. Eliot

January is my time of reassessment.

I weight actions and words, body language, dreams, and goals.

I have long stopped fooling myself into believing that everything will be accomplished. Instead, I allow myself to reenter the atmosphere softly.

I sit at my desk and examine the things I have surrounded myself with, the books, the words, the people, the interests of the year past, bits of paper and pieces of crafts, collections of nature and color schemes, and I examine how they have changed and enriched my life.

This is the time I reassess the voice, the contribution I wish to make to both my immediate and the extended world, and I face the new beginning never losing sight it will build itself up on the teachings of the past one.

Some of the books are flying off back to their shelves. Others are making new landings on top of my desk. There are new words brewing, new thoughts taking shape.

I am expanded by the willingness in the air.

A Gift From the Old to the New Year

"The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows."

George William Curtis

It is snowing this morning.
A soft steady fall of white flurries caresses the land, almost as if the Old Year planned on creating a blank canvas for the New One.

Happy New Year to you all, my friends.

xox

Isabel

My Christmas Baby

I always admired my Cat's independence, even as we said goodbye on the first day of prek-3 and she insisted on going in by herself.
I was all tears, she was all wings.
I secretly hoped she missed me, yet I smiled as she never looked back.
She has spunk, my girl!

I always admired her grace and strength.

Children and animals are drawn to her playfullness and inner light, sensing her motherly instincts and the easiness of her personality.

She doubts herself often, yet she's always determined and willing to try anything new. I encourage these flights with the utmost admiration.

Her smile melts me. He heart expands mine.

I am proud of the friendship we have developed, the way we can be serious and silly with each other, and talk about everything.She is now fourteen and radiant. My best friend. My girl.
Happy Birthday darling!

From My Family to Yours

My heartfelt wishes of a warm holiday season and a healthy New Year.

This year at our new "old" place, we have decorated our tree with handmade hearts to celebrate new friendships as well as to cherish old ones. I felt a bit uneasy about not using the kids decorations collected throughout the years, but we are now displaying those in a basket, along with the usual basket filled with our favorite past holiday greeting cards.

We are all loving how these baskets are turning into great pieces of conversation. And we still keep up with our (A)live Christmas Tree tradition.

I wish you all a rich family time.

xoxo

Isabel

Round Robin Book Exchange

After September's Squam Lake Workshop adventure in New Hampshire, EB, Karen, Leslie and I decided to extend the fun and celebrate our spiritual bond with a Round Robin Book Exchange.

I have to confess I felt a bit lost at first, never having participated in a RR before, and October ended still empty of ideas.
Then November arrived, and while going through the contents of an old jewelry box, I found a broken vintage family brooch that immediately determined the course of my Round Robin creation.I started by making an envelope bag in a complimentary green velvet and embellished it with lace from an old handkerchief and mother of pearl buttons.
I even attempted some coptic binding techniques learned from the coptic master herself-dear Eb.

It hurt to cut linen pieces from one of aunt Carolina's old corsets, but considering the corset had been tucked in a drawer for over twenty years, the prospect of celebrating it as part of a meaningful book became rather comforting. Almost liberating.

And here is the end result-not perfect but unique, all heart.

I sent this card out with the book (yes, it is a picture of me on the cover)to explain all about the theme I chose - "The Women in Us"-a celebration of women, past and present, who made a difference in our future.By taking this journey collectively, I hope we all end up learning more about ourselves and each other in the process.

Lucille Clifton's poem "Daughters" fit perfectly with my theme

as did photos of aunt Carolina,

of my mother and her mother ,

statements of innocence and possibility

A celebration of all these "mother courage". My pillars.

"Nothing is lost, nothing is created, all is transformed"

Antoine Laurent Lavoisier

Women whose stories I look forward to share.

Alice in the Rain

"Mad Hatter: No wonder you're late. Why, this watch is exactly two days slow.”
Chapter 7

The rain added to the magic of the Bergdorf Goodman holiday windows, and rain drops reflected light and images in a dreamlike fashion.

I think that Susanna and I could be heard down the block....Oooooo......Ahhhhh...look at this window...look at that flamingo....

Bergdorf Goodman, New Yok City

“It’s that old-world quality—it’s that opulent, madcap thing we do,” he says. “It’s layer upon layer of incident and antiques and things happening … but there’s also a kind of deliberate non-commercial quality.”

David Hoey -Bergdorf's Senior Director of Visual Presentation

The Bergdorf team must have worked endless hours to achieve these creations. For us, it all started with this magical Alice and the possibility awaiting down the Rabbit's hole...

"Alice laughed. `There's no use trying,' she said: `one can't believe impossible things.' `I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. `When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Chapter V

“The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. `Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. `Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'”
Chapter XII
"The sun was shining on the sea,

Shining with all his might:

He did his very best to make

The billows smooth and bright—

And this was odd, because it was

The middle of the night."

"The Walrus and the Carpenter", Through the Looking Glass- Chapter IV

"So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and all would change to dull reality"

Chapter XII

"The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he said was, "Why is a raven like a writing-desk?" Chapter VII

" 'That's a great deal to make one word mean,' Alice said in a thoughtful tone. 'When I make a word do a lot of work like that,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'I always pay it extra.' "

Chapter VI

There were so many details we could have stayed there all day, but this was one of my favorites- the birds of our mind surfacing in between the pages of a book, ready to take flight...

"‘When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, `it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less.' `The question is,' said Alice, `whether you can make words mean so many different things.' `The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, `which is to be master - - that's all.' "

Chapter 6

Can you believe that all of this Magic is made out of paper- the books and desk, a cat, the flamingo, lizards, and turtles. Such careful planning and detail!

"Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.
The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it would twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing:"

Chapter VIII

“Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. `I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, `so I can't take more.' `You mean you can't take less,' said the Hatter: `it's very easy to take more than nothing.'”

Chapter VII
" 'Curiouser and curiouser!' "

Chapter II

And look at this bird's eye view of the ultimate tea party.

" Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days. "

Chapter XII

Who cares if we were soaked and wet...our mind was definitely warm and alive.

Now you must check out Susanna's beautiful photos of the Bergdorf windows. She creates magic with her camera. Yes, she does.

Living the Magic...

"Light gives of itself freely, filling all available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe. It gives of itself and is not thereby diminished."

Michael Strassfeld

There is something magical about New York city this time of year, that even the rain and sleet accompanying us on Saturday could not stop us from dreaming.

We had tremendous fun, my friend Susanna and I, noses glued to the decorated windows, eyes taking it all in.

We walked miles and snapped a thousand photos, visited a million places, attended a fabulous holiday party at Elizabeth's and and after experiencing the wonder of the season we have no doubts that we Believe.

"Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love."

My Study Fire, Hamilton Wright Mabie

Please, don't forget to check out Susanna's blog for her coverage of the Macy's Christmas windows. She did a wonderful job at sharing the magic we experienced.

And there are more photos to come...